Cool wind on my back: There is no thing worth my anxiety

This will probably not be a typical post. This is a letter to myself in the future, and a ping to all my friends, when there are many more branching tunnels than there are now and we are required to divide our time between them with mouths full of nectar, tending to the Red Queen, our own larva, or something like that.

I had no idea that I would be writing this morning. Was not planned!

I am really excited about some future projects i’m working on. When I say working, I mean that several ideas converged and have made me tremendously excited.. But I must be careful. I can no longer rely on excitement as my source of fuel; it burns so quickly, and puts stress on the vessel that contains it. When I become excited now, I deliberately make myself artificially calm, tell myself that there is time, and the idea can germinate in the back of my mind until it can sprout naturally in its own time.

I will actually begin working on A Primer for Meditation pt.2 only after I can establish my own very steady consistent practice. I have been a bit too lax. I will jump into the components and basic histories of specific systems, as well as more exotic forms and my own speculations.

An overview of Quantum Models of Consciousness is in order. You’ll also hear my thoughts on the possibility of the Technological Singularity and aspects of Transhumanism that we have already partially stepped into.

These all come with time. I want to do everything all at once. I have to learn patience with myself. I am still only human. The capacity to enjoy relaxation in and of itself is just as biologically and existentially meaningful as my capacity to be dynamic, driven, creative, and proactive. Society doesn’t reward the individual who loves the self, however. Success is often measured by personal sacrifice as a demonstration of commitment and loyalty..

School is beginning in the fall. I will be working 34 hours a week, taking 12 hours of class, and practicing as much as possible. To help manage, I will be taking the Muse neuroheadset on a crash-course.


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